Lamaze

I'm pretty sure I could teach those classes they offer for expectant mothers. I ate some oatmeal and yogurt this morning and washed it down with a trucker-sized mug of coffee. Perfectly tensioned abdominal muscles and constant, even breathing are a must when squeezing out an enormous terd. It takes real effort to get that thing out in one piece without inadvertently pinching it off into several smaller chunks...I basically give birth every morning.

FtB